On May 1, 2008   I lost my sister, Robin. I had just met her almost 3 yrs before that. I felt very close to her even though we did not grow up together we hit it off pretty good, we’d talk often on the phone She was very caring, funny, and she reminded me a whole lot of myself.  We seen many things at face value & freely spoke our minds. I really loved that about her.

I was so numb at first when I heard she was no longer with us, now I guess I’m feeling very mad at the fact I do not have my sister here with me, I can no longer call her up or expect to hear the phone ring & it be her on the other end. I feel robbed I wasn’t able to have a relationship with her as a child do to family stuff & that really sucks BIG time.  There are days that I would give anything to call her up & chat just to hear her voice.

Another thing too she loved me for me, and that was that, that in itself is awesome!  Most folks in my family tend to avoid me do to whom my father is & who my mother is & how I came about. Not her as she & I share the same father, she took it all in & embraced me.  When I was to met with her & my brothers for the first time I was so scared to be rejected as I had been a lot in my time, that wasn’t the case at all.  It just seems so unreal & unfair to have only gotten to know her for such a short time. I guess what pisses me off most is all the wasted time. I really wish I was permitted to get to know my family on both sides!!! 

I am very grateful to have gotten the time I did with her but in the same breathe can not help but to wish for a little more just one more day!

I guess it still feels like a bad dream losing her I just wish that was it a bad dream I wish I could awake from.